My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
