Yo dont text me then not text me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
