Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
