so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
