why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
