batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
