Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
