I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
