The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize