Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
