I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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