Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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