i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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