just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
