So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
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