So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
