you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
