I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
