I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
why is half of my head shaved?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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