and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You pole danced in your parka.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
