Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
