the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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