This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We are two peas in an std pod
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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