their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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