How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
