Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The air was thick with penises
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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