omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
