Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
