I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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