I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
