Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just pee around me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
