So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
