No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize