Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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