it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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