We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Found the puke drawer
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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