Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
