We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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