do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
