Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
