i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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