Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
