She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
