Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
