I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
