I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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