My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize