Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
