the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize