Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
