I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
