oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
