So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
