ya dads aren't the best wingmen
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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