***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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