i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize