And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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