I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
