Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
