I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
