It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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