Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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