her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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