from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Randomize
